What the heck is wrong with you?!?!?!?!?!

Hi! It's me. Fatimah Ansari. A 21 year old Muslim girl who graduated from university a year ago and is currently teaching at a private school. I'm starting this blog to relieve some of my frustrations...

We all have those moments where we're in the middle of what we assumed was a dignified conversation between mature adults when suddenly, like an unpleasant odor, someone decides to release something rude, blunt, racist, stupid (yes, comments can be stupid; if I offended your comment, my apologies -- note the sarcasm), ridiculous, vain, judgemental etc. etc. into the discussion and, in an effort to stay polite, we stay quiet even though inside our mind we're really wondering, "What the heck is wrong with you?!?!?!" After the conservation, like any well-mannered adult, we proceed to vent our frustrations by backbiting about that particular individual with a common friend, who knows them well enough to agree with you, however halfheartedly.

Before I say this about anyone else, I have to admit I have been on both sides of this situation. I have been the offensee (I know that's not a word but I trust your brain is capable of figuring this one out) as well as the offended. If I'm the offensee, I wholeheartedly apologize. Whatever was said was said as a result of my stupidity and, ultimately, I would rather not answer for it in front of Allah (yes, I said it). Please forgive me if you can.

Now, in the case of being the offended, after an encounter such as the one I described above, I find myself in need of an old-fashioned rant/gossip/backbiting session. In my experience, when mutual friends are involved (as is the case with most of these situations), things have a way of finding their way back to the person in question which results in my role being changed from the offended to the offensee and, well, you know how I feel about that. In an effort to change this unfortunate but common occurence, I have decided to create this blog as a safe haven for me to release my frustrations (anonymously of course) and as a reminder to myself and others to consider the effect of their words/actions. Perhaps by chance those who have offended others in the manner I discuss will realize the repercussions of things said and things done and will learn a bit about how to better themselves. Like I said before, this is as much for myself as it is for others, if not more. If I find myself behaving in a manner I have critiqued, I hope I have the courage to issue an apology.

Please remember to take this with a grain of salt. We're all human beings; we all make mistakes and we all like to complain about others who make mistakes. Only those that learn to forgive others and to critique one's own self first have the upper hand. In case, you're wondering I'm not there yet... [If you're not either, feel free to join me in this cathartic exercise by leaving a comment with your own personal story and I'd be happy to post it for you (with proper credits, of course)!]

Oh and one more thing...if you benefit from this even a little bit, please make dua (prayer) for those of us who have a habit of momentarily losing our minds (i.e. saying/doing stupid things)... May Allah make this world a better place for all of us and for those that come after us... May He make us pure of heart and fill us with compassion towards one another. Ameen.